February

February! It’s that crazy time of year when everyone is talking about love, having it, losing it, looking for it and what are we all doing on that oh so special day? What will we be receiving in the door? Will it be chocolates? Will it be gifts? Will it be a surprise night out being wined and dined? Well not in my world! I for some reason have always seemed to go out with people who aren’t into Valentine’s day. If they do decide to do it, it’s out of a sense of guilt or pressure, not because they feel the need to proclaim their love. One year I was surprised by my man with a single rose, to be closely followed by the words “here, it came free with the milk.” I wasn’t proposed to, I felt the shower door open and through shampoo foam and closed eyes I heard “are we engaged?” and on replying “no” was told .. “well I just told my brother we were so we are now..” yes it fair to say, if I was swept off my feet I would certainly wonder if my other half had been abducted by aliens in the night or had contracted some other virus named after a beer.

That said, I’m not sad about it now. I used to think it was a reflection of our relationship or measure of how loved I was. I know this is not the case, I see the love that comes all year round in the small ways and the big. I have come to the realization that actually; some people are just a bit romance deficient. They do care, it just comes out in a different way. If it was recognised as a condition it could save so many people’s despair and disappointment or partners being demoted to the sofa for the night.

This is not to say I haven’t made the effort of a unique present, hand made the cards and written the rhymes. I have, and they‘ve always been received with massive appreciation and shock.

For those who are invested in the day of love and are romance fans, I salute you! I’m here for you! Those who are a bit romance deficient but are fighting the diagnosis; I’m here for you too! Don’t get me wrong.

I do myself though, choose to save up all my focus on love till the summer. This is where I look forward to the very small amount of very precious, crazy times we have together, away from the kids and work and responsibility… love conquers all and just like that we’re 20 again! You can’t put a price on that!